Its sort of amazing, I walked away from the KH over 20 years ago, went to college, built a life and never really gave this stuff much thought. I would go through phases of not believing in a god while at other times thinking there must be a god. But I never really sat down and thought about issues like evolution, intelligent design, etc. they just didn't impact my life. But the last couple of days reading all the threads with the evolutionists and creationists squaring off really got me to thinking about this whole issue, and what I actually believed.
Tetra, I think you hit the nail on the head, I have a hard time NOT separating the mind from that lump of gray matter that resides atop of our necks. The mind, the human intellect, conscience, self awareness, the things that make us unique among the animal kingdom and amongst ourselves I have a hard time reducing to a set of binary solutions. If A does not promote the species then discard and go to B. But I also hear what you are saying in that the "higher" brain functions evolved along with our physical traits, they became more complex as we became more complex and there is a certain sense and beauty to that I suppose.
I certainly do not dispute evolution, it appears to be as much a fact as any arguement I could hope to persuade a jury of. Now, where everything came from (including possibly some of the attributes we have been discussing, those that make us human), the universe at large, well the jury is still out on that one. I can certainly see why people want to discount the existence of a (G)god(s) given there is zero tangible proof of one and I could see myself going that way though I will admit to being somewhat saddened by that prospect. I have heard many say that their life is full of meaning without a god, and that they enjoy their existence and I can respect that. But a part of me is saddened by the thought of a scant 70 or 80 years of existence if I'm lucky and then eternal nothingness, that there is nothing more, nothing greater to aspire to or hope for. Or that if some are correct that life was such an amazing coincidence that in the whole universe this might be the only place it happened, it just shrinks the tapestry for me.
Many say that if there is a god and things have been allowed to go the way they have that it just ruins the notion of god for them, I feel the same way in the opposite, if all this, the universe, humans, animals is all just the result of a mathematical probability playing itself out on this remote spec of rock in a vast universe, that just doesn't sing to me, or fill me with much sense of granduer.
My point? No point really I guess, just thinking aloud. I don't think of myself as delusional, I live my life and make my living by what I can prove, and I don't ignore science or the things it explains, but I guess I am going to hold a little hope back that maybe there is something more to the whole deal, though I certainly would never try to prove that to anyone else as that is foolhardy. Once again thanks for all the thought, effort, and patience you put into addressing my questions, put it this way, you have pretty much convinced me of how things have happened, I am just going to take the ultimate why under advisement at this point.
Humble thanks from BD.